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Beejayy28
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Name: Beejayy28
Gender: Female
Interests: Poetry, Writing or any kind, Art, Soccer and Music
Expertise: None so far
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Member Since:
10/28/2009
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| My first xanga, i had to delete all of my personal blogs simply because so many people i knew read them and i got shit for it. But fuck them, this is my site. and i will, make this one more personal. So here goes, My best friend Jessie, her boyfriend Lachy, my boyfriend nathan and myself are currently looking for our own house to rent. Fuck me is it hard, they dont even consider you if you havent rented before. We arent going to have experience renting our own home if nobody lets us! dumb shits. I'm actually really nervous about it, i honestly do not know what to do. I mean nathan hasnt lived with his parents for nearly two years, lachy pretty much hates his dad's girlfriend/wife and jessie's mumj left her to travel half way across the country to live with her boyfriend and the people jess is living with right now treat her like complete crap. Even though one of them boarded with jess and her mum and the other one walked in whenever she wanted used all their internet up and always ate all their food. Now they're talking shit about jess' mum and also being mega cow's to jess. She told me, that the first week she was there she struggled with money 'cause she quit her job and centrelink hadn't paid her yet, the other two girls had massive bitch fits and didn't let jess eat anything except dinner each night (keep in mind these are people who are supposed to be her closest friends) and neither of them have spoken to her for the past week and a half. She's stayed at my house for three nights and told me she felt more at home here than at her own home. Also, these two girls wouldn't even have a place to live if it wasnt for jess and her mum considering they talked to the landlords and compromised the rental details so the girls could rent it after jess' mum left. They drive me nuts, i seriously just want to go up there and kick their arses. SO ANGRY! I'm at the end of my first year of university, and i'm completley bored with it. I don't know what i want to do.. it's just the same crap over and over again. Psychology sucks, its the most boring shit i've ever done, but if i want to do criminal psychology i have to do it. what a kill joy! My other best friend, Jacob is starting to fall for one of my close friends Minnie. its cute and all, but minnie is in atlanta at the moment and not coming back for 6 months... Although, she did tell me she was thinking about moving there permanently. I dont know whether to tell jake or not. It wil kill him, he's just got out of a relationship with a crazy, psychotic red head bitch about 6 months ago.. i just dont know, its weird cause i think minnie may like him too. well thats the vibe she is giving off. Drama is so high school, why must it follow you everywhere! | | |
| I've never been one of them, those girls who were always the centre of attention, simply because of how they look. I've never been extremely skinny, so much so that i looked more than amazing in a bikini. I dislike clothing that show's my stomach. I cannot wear dresses, they make me feel fat. I don't attract the guy's i "crushed on." I don't have perfect skin, the perfect body, the perfect everything. But i want to, i want them all because i know how much you like them. You're beginning to make me feel insignificant in comparison to the girls you know, because i know i will never be like that no matter how hard i try.. You're beginning to make me feel like i'm not worth your time anymore. i love you, but you're killing me. | | |
| I hate admitting it, I hate being the one person who's "different." It seems no matter how I try, I can't seem to hang onto the good friends.
Its not like I do anything differently, which is probably what I'm doing wrong.
To sum it all up, I do not, in any way shape or form, have a best friend. You could count my boyfriend of a year and a half, and sure, in a way he's my best friend.
But I don't have somebody to talk to when things go wrong with him, nobody to talk to about the most random and pointless things that girls talk aboutm
I had two best friends once. They most amazong people I could ever meet. Turned out one of them couldn't trust me over other people, even though I had never lied to her before. The other, well things are a lot more complicated there.
I guess age had something to do with it, she's a good two years younger than me, doesn't seem like mych when your older, but when that two years difference has me leaving high school and going to uni while she's only just starting year 11, the difference is huge.
And I guess I have jessie and jacob, both amazing yet again. I grew up with jessie, we lost contact and then found it again. Its great, but our boyfriends are best mates too, so that leaves little privacy in the friendship. And jacob, well he's smart, so its hard to have friend talks with him.
What I wouldn't mind, is finding that someone again who would blow other people off for me, I don't want to be the one who's getting ditched anymore (it sounds bad of me to want that I know.)
I want that friend who would make me laugh when I feel like dying. One that leaves me random comments on my fb or send me texts simply just telling me how good of a friend I am to them or just that they love me. I'm tired of never getting messages from anybody who I thought was nice enough to care. Tired of not getting phone calls or unexpected visits from friends.
It just seems like, if people were judged by how awesome their best friend was, I wouldn't even be in the competition.
Don't think of me as taking my other friends for granted, there's just something missing, and I want it back so badly.
--pretty much all I had to say--
--going to attemp to go back to sleep--
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| Recently i've moved to a not so great are in the city. Its one of those area's where hearing a gunshot in the middle of the night isnt a strange thing. Where people still think rat's tails are cool and where every second house is indicated as a drug dealer's house by the shoes hanging on the phone line. While just sitting in the car on the way to the shopping centre, i've noticed the amount of girls who look no older than 13 or 14 holding hands or making out with a much, much older guy who are without a doubt sporting a pregnant belly. I never used to think much of it, but now that i live in the city i notice it more and more. What is society coming to? I mean i know that back in the "old" days, girls were getting married and actually having children at this age, but i was under the impression that things changed. Apparenty not. Tonight while on facebook, i'd noticed that many of my friends had joined a "group" which was based on girls such as these. The Title, "im 12, i smoke, im not a virgin and my boyfriend is 17. Im so proud." After spending hours reading that posts out of boredom. I couldn't believe the amount of girls who actually posted on it saying that they were proud of the person they'd become. How can you become a person when you've seen nothing of the world? somebody i knew posted this comment on the page and recieved alot of feedback from others, Erik Anderson Any guys who are posting comments and are agreeing with girls this age sleeping with ANYBODY, whether it be boyfriend or not obviously need to wait a few years to grow some pubes and some respect for females. Any guy who is the 17 year old boyfriend to a girl who is this age, You are just as messed up, if not more.
Girl...s, be proud of yourself as much as you like if you do this - that certainly doesnt make it right. Don't be suprised when you get labelled a slut/slag/whore/scrag or when you get pregnant or sick from an STI, because you set yourself up for it when you didnt think about what you were doing. Dont walk around expecting it never to happen to you, because nothing can 100% guarantee that it wont. If your going to be stupid, thats your own fault dont blame anybody else or "experiences in your life." You have always had a choice to do the right thing and you obviously havent chosen it.
Oh, and don't parade it around so that everybody knows, its disgusting. Im not saying this because i know him, but because i completely agree. What the hell are these girls thinking? How can a child look after another child? Where are the parents of these kids? What the hell is going on in the guy's mind when they have intercourse with somebody that more than likely wasnt even born in the same decade as them? It truely is disgusting, what on earth makes them believe that this is the right way to go? Does anybody else see what im seeing? | | |
| Current Relationship Status ; Taken Current Partner ; Nathan J.W.C Time Spent Together ;15 months & 13 days. My longest relationship so far, and i've been in a few. They never seemed to last very long, or end very well. My Past boyfriends obviously didnt have much of an attention span when it came to me. This is evident through the lack of communication we shared, and the truth that existed in our small amount of communication. Shane Carter - Year 7, 6 months. Long distance relationship (self explanitory) Matthew Chapman - Year 8, 3 months; Ended because my best friend made up some bullshit that i cheated on him when infacat it was her who cheated on her boyfriend. Matthew Kooyman - Year 8, 1week. Complete disaster. Practical rebound relationship. Talon Johansen - Year 8-9, 7 months. My Best friend still. Mutual ending. Faolan Leggatt - year 9-10. 10 Months. Long distance relationship. I left him for something i could actually see. Jason Reed - Year 10-11. 11 Months. Heartbreak of the century. He was the first person i felt i was inlove with. He met some girl on the internet, and constantly spoke to her on MSN etc (Even while at my house). met up with her behind my back. Dumped me through text message, Slept with her two days after which happened to be on our 11 month ann. I did not see him for an entire year after this. not once. Zac Aunger - Year 11, 3 months. He was there for me throughout my break up with jason and made me feel as happy as i could be. Then he left me for a 13 year old after becoming physically abusive. Nathan Curran - Year 11 till now. 15 months 13 days. I know its not possible for everything to be perfect in a relationship. I know that if a relationship doesnt consist of arguements, it is not a healthy relationship. But i feel as though this is perfect. He knows my weakness' and my strength's and continues to push me in the direction that i wish to go. Constantly letting me know that he is there for me and letting me know what im doing wrong as a girlfriend. Letting me know that there is nothing he wouldnt do for me. But im afraid, that this will all shatter like a mirror and bring more bad luck just like jason did. i constantly think that when we argue he is going to tell me he has had enough. I dont think that i could bare it if he left me. ] i would be in utter ruins. | | |
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Age: 17
Location: South Australia
Bachelor of Psychological Science, UniSA
Writing. Reading. Eyeliner. Black and White Photos. Supernatural. Vodka. Jeans. Straightner. Cold Weather. Late Night Movies. Rain. Starry Nights. Thick Blankets. Texting. iPod. Subway. Pancakes. Vegemite. Marrilyn Monroe. Tattoos. Piercings.
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